TOPIC Should science be relied on to solve humankind’s problems? （人類の問題を解決するために科学に頼るべきなのか？）
Despite the advancement of the technology, we are still facing a lot of problems. I believe that we should rely on science to solve humankind’s problems such as food crises, a lack of energy resources, and healthcare problems.
First of all, we must tackle with food crises. Due to the expansion of the world population, food shortage will be inevitable. To sustain world population, we should increase the production of food. One solution would be the development of artificial food such as lab-grown meat. Bio technology is essential to the development of such foods and science would be the basis of the technology.
Second issue would the development of renewable energy sources. We are still too much dependent on fossil fuels although they are limited. The development of renewable energy would be urgent and science is essential for its development. Among existing renewable energy sources, hydrogen energy would be promising. According to the researchers, hydrogen energy is safe and can be produced by water which is abundant on the earth.
Last but not least, we should address the issue of healthcare problems. As the Covid-19 pandemic shows clearly, the spread of transmittable diseases can be a threat to the existence of the humankind. To secure our future, we should invest on the development of medical science.
In conclusion, to save our future generations, we should rely on science to address the problems such as food crises, energy problems, and healthcare problems.
No one can deny that individual privacy is a fundamental human right. However, it is getting harder to protect individual privacy in the modern society due to an advancement of technology.
First of all, an advancement of mobile technology makes it harder to protect individual privacy. As people are always using mobile gadgets, their lives are always online. This makes it possible to track down on their actions and behaviors, ending up to the violation of personal privacy. Such data, so-called ‘big data’ is so attractive to businesses, the companies tend to prioritize collecting personal data over protecting individual privacy.
Also, the popularity of social media is making it harder for people to protect their privacy. Social media posts usually contain a lot of personal information, and it can cause a leak of their privacy. This issue is complicated because social media is so addictive that people cannot stop using it.
Lastly, some people point out that the surveillance cameras installed throughout the countries are helping the violation of privacy. Those cameras are originally protecting people from crimes. However, some specialists point out that some cameras are hacked illegally, stealing personal data. These data might be used for crimes or cracking down on people.
In conclusion, it is really hard to protect individual privacy in the modern society due to the development of mobile technology, the popularity of social media, and the surveillance cameras hacked illegally. (249 words)
No one can deny that individual privacy is a fundamental human right. However, it is getting harder to protect individual privacy in the modern society due to the an advancement of technology.
First of all, an the advancement of mobile phone technology makes it harder to protect individual privacy. As people are always constantly using mobile gadgets, their lives are always often online. This makes it possible to track down on their actions and behaviors, ending up to the violation of violating personal privacy. Such data, so-called ‘big data’, is so attractive to businesses, the companies tend to prioritize collecting personal data over protecting individual privacy.
Also, the popularity of social media is making it harder for people to protect their privacy. Social media posts usually contain a lot of personal information, and it can cause a leak of their privacy leak. This issue is complicated because social media is so addictive that people cannot stop using it.
Lastly, some people point out that the surveillance cameras which is installed throughout the countries all over the world are helping the, contribute to violation of privacy violation. Those cameras are were originally just meant to protecting people from crimes. However, some specialists point out that some cameras are hacked illegally, and therefore, stealing personal data. These data might be used for crimes or cracking down on to repress people.
In conclusion, it is really hard to protect individual privacy in the modern society due to the development of mobile phone technology, the popularity of social media, and the surveillance cameras being hacked illegally.
ちなみに、トピックは for governmentsと複数形になっているので、ひとつの国の問題ではなく、世界規模の問題と捉えた方が書きやすそうです。ということで、世界規模の問題をピックアップしてみました。
気候変動を抑制できる
食料危機を回避できる
世界的な伝染病のまん延（新しいパンデミック）を抑制できる
それではまず、ビフォアのエッセイを見てみましょう。
ビフォアエッセイ（添削前）
In the previous century, investment in infrastructure used to be the biggest priority for governments. Today however, governments should put the bigger priority on investment in technology to address global issues such as climate change, food crisis, and an eradication of epidemic diseases.
As climate change is accelerating and having a negative impact on many aspects of our lives, governments are taking measures to mitigate its effects. As decarbonization is crucial, governments are providing financial support to the companies with sustainable development, and this trend should have to continue.
Food crisis is another urgent issue for us as the world population is expanding. Food technology such as developing artificial meat is expected to be the answer to this issue. As governments are responsible for the well-beings for their nationals, such food technology is worth investing.
Last but not least, to eradicate epidemic diseases, investment on technology in medical fields is inevitable for humanity. As shown in the pandemic of Covid-19, the issue of epidemic diseases can be a threat to the survival of the human race. We need to tackle this issue as a team and governments should take the lead.
Taking these reasons into consideration, the development of technology would be the priority. Governments should invest on the development of technology for our future. (232 words)
In the previous century, investment in infrastructure used towas the biggest priority for governments. Today however, governments should put the bigger priority on investment in technology to address global issues such as climate change, food crisis crises, and an eradication of epidemics diseases.
As climate change is accelerating and having a negative impact on many aspects of our lives, governments are taking measures to mitigate its effects. As decarbonization is crucial, governments are providing financial support to the companies with sustainable development, and this trend should has to continue.
Food crisis iscrises are another urgent issue for us as the world population is expanding. Food technology such as developing artificial meat is expected to be the answer to this issue. As governments are responsible for the well-being for of their nationals citizens, such food technology is worth investing in.
Last but not least, to eradicate epidemics diseases, investment on in technology in medical fields is inevitable essential for humanity. As shown in with the Covid-19 pandemic, the issue of epidemicsdiseases can be a threat to the survival of the human race. We need to tackle this issue as a teamtogether and governments should take the lead.
Taking these reasons into consideration, the development of technology would should be the priority. Governments should must invest on in the development of technology for our future.
Some people warn that human race is always a menace to the environment. I don’t think so however because human race is making at most efforts to save the environment.
First, human race is trying hard for sustainable development. In the past, it is true that human activities lead to the depletion of natural resources, but today, thanks to the developments in technology, it is possible to optimize the amount of natural resources to use. As a result, more natural resources can be saved.
Second, more companies start to make environmentally-friendly products. For example, many clothing companies are developing their products by using recycled materials, and they are popular among consumers. In addition, more companies start to use eco-friendly materials instead of plastic. For instance, sneakers made from plant-origin fiber decompose in the soil, less harmful to the environment.
Last, governments and large companies are doing more to protect their forests. Planting trees campaigns are taking places in many countries. Saving forests has significant effects on the environment. It can contribute to the preservation of diversity in plants and animals, and also solving global warming by decreasing greenhouse emissions.
Taking these things into consideration, human societies will not always have negative effect on the environment. As a member of the planet Earth, human race will continue to make great efforts to protect the environment. (224 words)
Some people warn that the human race is always a menace to the environment. However, I don’t think so, however because thehuman race is making at mosta lot of efforts to save the environment.
Firstly, the human race is trying hard forto achieve sustainable development. In the past, it is true that human activities lead to the depletion of natural resources, but today, thanks to the developments in technology, it is possible to optimize the amount of natural resources to use. As a result, more natural resources can be saved.
Secondly, more companies start to make environmentally-friendly products. For example, many clothing companies are developing their products by using recycled materials, and they are popular among consumers. In addition, more companies start to use eco-friendly materials instead of plastic. For instance, sneakers made from plant-origin fiber can decompose inthe soil after being discarded, making them less harmful to the environment.
Lastly, governments and large companies are doing more to protect their forests. Planting trees Tree planting campaigns are taking places in many countries. Saving forests has a significant effects on the environment. It can contribute to the preservation of diversity in plants and animals, and also solving help reduce the effect of global warming by decreasing greenhouse emissions.
Taking these things into consideration, human societies humanity will not always have a negative effect on the environment. As a member of the planet Earth, thehuman race will continue to make great efforts to protect the environment.
Some people argue that genetic engineering has unforeseeable risks and can endanger the future of human race. However, I believe that genetic engineering benefits our society due to the contribution to our healthcare, solving food shortages and protecting endangered species.
First of all, genetic engineering will lead to improvement in healthcare. For example, we would be able to detect the causes of illnesses and develop more effective medicine with this technology. Also, we may be able to treat illnesses without operation by manipulating patients’ genes directly. It will reduce patients’ pains and improve the quality of treatments.
Secondly, genetic engineering could be the solution to the food shortages. As the world population expanding, our food demand will presumably exceed its supply in decades. Genetic engineering would help increase produce by developing vegetables and food animals growing fast, and strong to diseases.
Lastly, genetic engineering would contribute to the preservation of endangered species. With this technology, cloning would be possible to revive the animals that became extinct. Also, we will be able to increase the population of endangered species by changing their genes to adjust to the current environment, which will help them increase the possibility of survival.
In conclusion, genetic engineering has surely positive influence on our society, helping our society develop and prosper for the future. (217 words)
Some people argue that genetic engineering has unforeseeable risks and can endanger the future ofthehuman race. However, I believe that genetic engineering benefits our society due to the its contribution to our healthcare, by solving food shortages and as well as protecting endangered species.
First of all, genetic engineering will lead to improvements in healthcare. For example, we would be able to detect the causes of illnesses and develop more effective medicine with this technology. Also, we may be able to treat illnesses without operations by manipulating patients’ genes directly. It will would also reduce patients’ pains symptoms and improve the quality of treatments.
Secondly, genetic engineering could be the a solution to the food shortages. As the world population is expanding, our food demand will presumably exceed its supply within decades. Genetic engineering would help increase produce by developing vegetables and food animals for human consumption to growing fast, and strong to be resistant to diseases.
Lastly, genetic engineering would contribute to the preservation of endangered species. With this technology, cloning would be make it possible to revive the animals that became extinct. Also, we will would be able to increase the population of endangered species by changing their genes to adjust to the current environment, which will would help them increase the their possibility of survival.
In conclusion, genetic engineering has a surely positive influence on our society, by helping our society develop and prosper forin the future.
Some say that preventing the spread of viruses should be a priority, but others say that economic activities should never be sacrificed. At the heart of this issue is a trade-off: which of the two should take priority over the other? We need to strike a balance between the two factors. I believe that prevention of the spread of coronavirus should take priority for the three reasons explained below.
Second, it is all very well that globalization has enhanced the development of transportation and endowed people with greater mobility, but, unfortunately, due to this phenomenon, infectious diseases like COVID-19 have also become more transmittable than before. Given that economic activities always come along with such mobility, business activities, especially activities in the eating-out sector, should be restricted to stop causing another pandemic.
パラグラフ最初の it is all very well…but は「～は多いに結構だがしかし…」という決まり文句。譲歩のかっこいいバージョンでしょうか。
give rise to the risk of overwhelming our medical services です。
Last but not least, the absence of restrictions on economic activities tends to accelerate the spread of the virus and increase the number of people who get infected at one time, and would give rise to the risk of overwhelming our medical services.In fact, a number of European countries failed to take prevention measures at the early stage of the spread of the coronavirus and the resulting rapid increase in the number of patients overwhelmed the capacity of medical institutions.
the absence of restrictions や accelerateはエッセイでヘビロテしそうなワードですね！
このパラグラフではエビデンスとしてヨーロッパでの医療崩壊の例を持ってきました。事実の提示なので In factを使っています。
To sum up, prevention of a rapid spread of coronaviruses should be a priority because of high population density in modern cities, high mobility of people, and the risk of overwhelming our medical services.
全部つなげてもう一度読んでみましょう
全体
Some say that preventing the spread of viruses should be a priority, but others say that economic activities should never be sacrificed. At the heart of this issue is a trade-off: which of the two should take priority over the other? We need to strike a balance between the two factors. I believe that prevention of the spread of coronavirus should take priority for the three reasons explained below.
First, the high density of urban population tends to advance the spread of coronavirus. And once this happens, there is no way to slow or stop the infection rate, resulting in a paralysis of every aspect of society, economic or otherwise.
Second, it is all very well that globalization has enhanced the development of transportation and endowed people with greater mobility, but, unfortunately, due to this phenomenon, infectious diseases like COVID-19 have also become more transmittable than before. Given that economic activities always come along with such mobility, business activities, especially activities in the eating-out sector, should be restricted to stop causing another pandemic.
Last but not least, the absence of restrictions on economic activities tends to accelerate the spread of the virus and increase the number of people who get infected at one time, and would give rise to the risk of overwhelming our medical services. In fact, a number of European countries failed to take prevention measures at the early stage of the spread of the coronavirus and the resulting rapid increase in the number of patients overwhelmed the capacity of medical institutions.
To sum up, prevention of a rapid spread of coronaviruses should be a priority because of high population density in modern cities, high mobility of people, and the risk of overwhelming our medical services. (288 words)
Homeschooling means children study at home instead of going to school. In many countries, homeschooling is legal, but not in Japan. I strongly suggest Japan to introduce homeschooling for several reasons.
First and foremost, homeschooling can be a solution to the issue of school refusal from children. Those children stopped going to school for many reasons such as school bullying or mental illnesses. According to researchers, every year more than a hundred thousand students are choosing not to go to school. The loss of education will cast a shadow on their future career. If homeschooling was authorized, they would be able to get a high quality education without going to school.
The second reason would be that education at home can be positive as a method of taking preventative measures in the case of contingencies. For instance, natural disasters such as hurricanes and earthquakes, which happen frequency these days. In the affected areas, people have difficulties going to work and school. To prevent a cessation of school education, we should take advantage of technology. The authority should show guidelines for teachers and parents to secure the quality of education. Right now we are in a state of total social isolation due to the outbreak of covid-19. To protect children’s rights to learn, we should find a way to give them learning opportunities outside the classrooms.
The third reason would be that we could learn how to respect different values and beliefs by introducing homeschooling. In the era of the paradigm shift, some parents believe that standardized school education can hamper the growth of talent and personalities of their children. Those parents hope to give their children a special education at home. I believe the governments should respect their decisions and give them support because those who have new perspectives may become a trailblazer for our future.
To summarize, the introduction of homeschooling would help solve the issue of school refusal, secure children’s learning opportunities, and respect various values and beliefs of children and parents.
Some people think that human cloning should be legal. However, human cloning should not be allowed because it has risks, social and ethical issues.
Human cloning technology is still in an experimental stage. This means that mothers and babies have a high risk of disease and death. According to scientists, cloned animals are more likely to have a short life span and some kind of defects. If they were born with such abnormality, who would be responsible for them?
Cloning technology can also collapse the traditional family system. For example, technology makes it possible for an individual to create their own clone and raise it as their own child. If it really happens, are they a parent and a child, or identical twins? This kind of practice will surely confuse our current social system.
Furthermore, human clones might be abused if they were allowed to be produced for the benefit of humans. For instance, they might be treated like a slave or livestock. Also, they might be mass-produced to give their organs to humans for organ transplants. Like in sci-fi movies, clone troops or human-shaped biological weapons might become a reality.
For these reasons mentioned above, human cloning technology is quite dangerous for our society. That is why I think human cloning should be banned. (215 words)
